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Bright Ideas to Botch Your Life

Fox-Proof Chook House

Chapter Two: The Sermon

Parson Snows coughed twice to clear his throat stood tall and said,

There are seven rules to live by in order to build a fox-proof Chook House. As it says in the Good Book*, in this way you will ‘live long and prosper’.

The crowd fell hushed and a sense of awe seemed to fill the atmosphere.
Rule One: You can build a Chook House out of anything.
Rule Two: Pay more attention to what is in the Chook House and how fox-proof it is than what it looks like.
Rule Three: Don’t build where there are foxes.
Rule Four: Lock the Chook House door.
Rule Five: If a fox gets in, don’t get bitten.
Rule Six: If you get bitten, don’t bleed too much.
Rule Seven: If you get bitten, don’t flap and squawk.

Parson Snows looked down at the bridal couple, and said ‘That’s all there is to it! I now pronounce you a pair. Go forth and multiply!’

Then he scratched his ear.*The good book to which he referred I later discovered was Farm Trek: To Boldly Go Where No Chicken has Gone Before by Captain James T. Kluck, pp 7
He then let forth an almighty ‘What’s for Breakfa-a-a-a-a-st?’ while everyone cheered, scratched in the dust and crowded around the newly weds. For good luck they showered them with grain from the sacks in the corner.

There was a lot of cackling and scratching and then they all started eating the grain.
On the way home I bought a hot pack of chicken and chips, parked the car under a tree to eat and reflected on what Parson Snows had said.

I considered that Parson Snows’ advice wasn’t just for the little feathery critters in that old farm house that day.

I could see it also applied to me and all the Chook Houses my friends and I have built over the years.

And slowly I realised something else that has probably already dawned on you.

In those seven simple rules were some very valuable lessons about life itself.