|  The Ten Commandments for Dummies
As
spelled out by Colin Pearce
NOTE:
They are actually commandments from someone bigger than all of
us – not the ten suggestions.
With
apologies to Moses (circa 1200 BC) and the King James Version
of the Bible of 1611 with
all the thee, thou, though
thum stuff in
them.
Dictated
to Moses by his new friend God on a mountain in the Sinai desert
and passed down to generations ever since,
becoming
the foundation
of common law in the majority of the world - except for progressive
places like North Korea, Sudan, Afghanistan, Sierra Leone
and Chechnya.
1.
Love God and enjoy Him forever.
2.
Don't think about - stress out - drool over - or hanker for anything
more than think about
God.
3.
Don't say things like, 'For God's sake...', and 'For Christ's
sake...' or yell 'Jesus Christ!' when you hit
your head on
the cupboard if the issue isn't for Christ's sake at
all or if you're
not actually
praying for help.
4.
Work for 6 days every week and take a whole day out to refresh
and rejuvenate your mind, body
and soul.
5.
Respect and honour your parents.
6.
Don't murder anyone. Don't even think about it!
7.
Control your sexual urges and only have sex with your life partner
AND wait
till you get married.
8.
Don't take anything from anyone (or anywhere) that doesn't belong
to you without permission
or without
paying for
it first.
9.
Tell the truth. Match what you say and report to the facts precisely;
no spin, no
bits left
out.
10.
Be contented with what you've got. Don't long for the loot and
lot of other
people.
Be satisfied
with
your own
spouse,
house, car
and clothes.
'Live
like this,' said God to Moses, and you'll live happily ever after' |
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